BBQ SEASONING FOR GRILLED BROTHER
by karimah bint dawoud
RECIPE FOR MARINATING AND GRILLING A BROTHER ( A POTENTIAL SPOUSE)
This is a new recipe and needs revising from time to time, should you have an ideas please email me, barak allah feek.
This is a particularly good recipes for revert sisters who are approached by brothers who nobody knows, even if they are known, certain things are worth checking out like their beliefs and attitudes towards family, money, anger, animals and women
1 INTERESTED BROTHER, PLUS RELATED FAMILY MEMBERS
1 WALI AL AMR / GUARDIAN
1 LONG LIST OF QUESTIONS
3 CHARACTER REFERENCES
1 PROOF OF CITIZENSHIP
1 UP TO DATE HEALTH CHECK
1 PROOF OF EMPLOYMENT
- take one brother who is interested in you for marriage
- email each other or msn but DO NOT USE WEB CAM as its best to keep everything written down for future reference, tex is also good.
- get him to call your wail /father, brother, uncle, religious sheikh if you are revert to ask if he can meet you in a public place, ideally the restaurant in a masjid, so he can buy you lunch and you can see his generosity and manners.
- pray salat ul istikhara before you go to the meeting
- this is where the seasoning begins, ask him about face to face the question you have already asked him on fone or on line – what sheikh does he follow/study with? where does he work? how long has he been on the deen? etc, remember you have all the time in the world. If he has had a bit of a past then ask him what was his longest relationship or has he had a long relationship, ask him about his education. SOME OF THE MORE DIFFICULT QUESTIONS LET YOUR WALI ASK AT LATER MEETING
- http://www.jannah.org/sisters/queshusbands.html here is a long list of questions
- ask him to report back to your wali feedback on the meeting
- You reported back to your wali your impression of the brother
- if you both want to meet again, get him to arrange it with your wali
- optional his parents or family members should come to this meeting
- this is where the grilling begins
- ask your wali to ask him for 3 character references and know that they will be checked out
- ask your wali to ask him for proof of employment and where he lives
- ask you wali to ask him for an up to date health check, which you must also provide
- ask your wali to ask him for proof of citizenship
- if the brother is genuine he should be fine under this pressure but if he is dodgy then he should start feeling hot around the collar.
- some brothers exploded under this pressure while others stay cool, this coolness however is not an accurate sign of acceptability, as we say the proof of the pudding is in the eating, so when the references are check out them you can proceed to another meeting
- the prophet of Allah, salah la alaihi w salem said” People are like camels, it hard in 100 to find one good enough to ride”
- don’t be surprised if things don’t go to plan, do wudu and learn from the experience, see if there were any signs when making your selection of brother that could have indicated this one was a dud.
- start over again inshallah, never give up hope, stay on your deen, stay on your prayers, do good deeds, give charity and inshallah you will find the right brother in this life or the next ameen